Exams

(I imagine most of you will prefer not to read this note because it will take time away from your study time =P)


I just read Elvira's comment on facebook: "Differentiation from first principles is my biggest enemy". I realized, much to my horror, that I don't even remember if I was supposed to learn that in my maths class. Exams are a reality which seems farther than my own birth! A year, totally enclosed in doing anything but studying maths (and sciences, and and real history, and real bla bla) shows me how fortunate I am. Or I am not =)

Despite of this, I am thinking of you now. With love, as I do when I remember you. And I realize how heavy must be the moment you are living just right now. One year ago time (when I was personally facing it), is a hidden spot in my mind. The only things I remember (which kept me alive), were three actions:

1. The constant reminding to myself that being with people around me was waaaay more important than those exams. I specifically remember one night I went out with Jesse and Yukiko having an IB test the next day. (Well, I am not sure if that has happened since we create 80% of our memories, haha). The point is, of course you should look upon your responsability. But now that you are young, and you are living such a lifetime thing - the end of such cycle - don't let exams take over your spirit! your esence! It's hard for some, simple for others. But no freaking paper worths five minutes with friends and joy. I truly believe it!

2. The clear idea that if I was to explode in the middle of a test (imagine a Maths Paper 2 for example), I would allow myself to stand up from my chair, and leave the room without saying a word (it would have been such an amazing action!). The idea of how insignificant was my happiness in comparison of that paper; and the responsability I would face in case I did that, balanced the stress. And my heart stayed calmed.

3. Little messages I left for examinors in the papers. I am not sure if that is allowed, but I don't mind either. I used to write a short message for the evaluators, telling them "I hope you are no bored to death with correcting these test; I hope you had a great day. An anonimous student thinks of you and wishes you the best." Not so "poetical" or cheesy as I just exemplified, but more or less. I don't think they read it: they probably crossed a line overneath and kept doing their job. But imagine if only ONE, ONE of them read it and felt better, wherever in the world. Isn't it amazingly beautiful?

Haha, I say many things without concerning about the consequences (that's not a good thing either, but I am learning!). I just say such things because I say them with love, and with the deepest good intentions from my heart. I hope that counts for any rational or extremely stressed reader that feels ofended just right now.

I wish you the best for what remains of the IB exams. I love you.

May the force be with you.